Everybody loves a good joke. It can really brighten someone’s day, especially if they’re working within a heavy industry like accounting. Between filing taxes and preparing financial reports, accountants tend to be rushed off their feet and could often use a little pick-me-up to inject a bit of humour into their routine.
This list of witty accounting jokes and puns might just do the trick!
Cheesy Jokes
Fancy a side of cheese with your joke? If anything’s going to make you cringe, it’ll be one of these old chestnuts.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.
What does an accountant say when boarding a train? “Mind the GAAP.”
How do you know when an accountant is on holiday? He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8 am!
What did the overworked asset say to the other asset? I feel so under depreciated.
What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.
How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie them to a chair and mess up their excel formulas.
Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
Why do accountants get excited at the weekends? Because they can wear casual clothes to work.
What do you call an accountant without a calculator? Lonely.
What would an accountant want for a superpower? Telepathy with an excel spreadsheet.
How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Ever wonder why they call it a Form 1040? For every $50 you earn, you get $10, and they get $40.
Did you hear about the deviant Forensic Accountant? He got his client’s charges reduced from gross indecency to net indecency.
Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes? Because they only have one scent.
How do you know when an accountant’s having a mid-life crisis? He gets a faster calculator.
Clever Jokes
These ones have been so well thought out that they’re bound to get the whole room chuckling.
Two things in life are inevitable: death and taxes. At least death only happens once.
For every tax problem, there is a solution that is straightforward, uncomplicated, and wrong.
What is the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.
A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
“Oh No!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
“Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor.
“Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
“No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”
Some say that nobody should keep too much to themselves. The IRS office is of the same opinion.
There are 3 types of accountants. Those who can count and those who can’t.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance? A late night.
Why does Santa like visiting the UK? He can claim Gift Relief.
Accountants don’t die, they get derecognized.
America is the land of opportunity. Everybody can become a taxpayer!
What’s the difference between death and taxes? Congress doesn’t meet every year to make death worse.
How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
Where there’s a will, there’s a tax shelter.
The best things in life are free — plus tax, of course.
Children may be tax deductible, but they’re still taxing.
Puns
Come on, everyone loves a cheeky play on words.
Be audit you can be.
Welcome to the Accounting department, where everybody counts.
It's accrual world.
Make every day account.
Excel at everything.
I Excel at spreadsheets.
Accounting is a career for smart assets.
I have a great asset.
A good accountant is also good at stripping.
Let's get fiscal.
You can always count on your accountant.
An accountant's biggest workout is crunching numbers.
Accounting is accrual profession.
Don't hate, depreciate.
Accountants are the LIFO the party.
Accountants and gymnasts are both the best at finding their balance.
When an accountant gets a new door, they adjust their entry.
Accountants will stop at nothing to avoid a negative balance.
Concluding Thoughts
Cheesy or not, these jokes are guaranteed to make your colleagues and loved ones in accounting laugh. You could even use these on the front of personalised birthday or Christmas cards to add a touch of niche humour!
Any other funnies we’ve left off of the list? Feel free to share your favourites in the comments below.
